I wish the weekend could give me a hug (wow how emo of me)

I was really in a bad mood today having to do most of my math group project by myself, and on top of everything I feel like I'm getting a bit of a cold (curse you immune system and crazy utah weather!) luckily this song is keeping me sane right now.

lyrics

watching terrible tv
it kills all thoughts
Getting spacier than
An astronaut
Making out with people
I hardly know or like
I can't believe what i do
Late at night

I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
I'm standing at the gates
I see the beauty above

Only when we get to see
The aerial view
Will the patterns show
We'll know what to do
I know the last page so well
I can't read the first
So i just don't start
It's getting worse
[chorus]
I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
I'm standing at the gates
I see the beauty above

I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
I can't find my way in
I try again and again

I'm on the outside of love
Always under or above
I can't find my way in
I try again and again

I'm on the outside of love
Always under or above
Must be a different view
To be a me with a you

I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
I'm standing at the gates
I see the beauty above

I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
Of course i'll be alright
I just had a bad night

My new crush

Her name is Lindsey Stirling and she is from Provo, Utah. She was on america's got talent and she played at a show down in Provo I went to recently and instantly I was struck by her amazing skills and quirky personality (not to mention her dance moves). I also found out she served a mission which is a home run. She now holds #1 spot in my heart right in front of Rachel Mcadams and Christina Hendricks. (of course once i meet her i will disavow any knowledge of this blog post)

Happy St Patricks day!

"Carpe Diem"

pictures taken during tsunami caused by the earthquake in Japan

With all that has gone on in the last week I feel like this blog post is quite timely. It's amazing how life can change within minutes. One second your going through your everyday routine and the next an event you never expected completely flips your world upside down. I can't imagine what is going on in Japan now. The earthquake in japan was the fifth-largest in the world since 1900. Looking at these pictures and hearing about fallout of this natural disaster makes me feel sick to my stomach and I can only pray that we can provide as much relief as possible to the millions affected by this disaster. Even writing this post makes my eyes well with tears for them. It is scary to think that something so catastrophic can take place in mere minutes. It gives you a new perspective on life. Cherish everyday and blessing you can and live life to its' fullest.

I remember being in the MTC in august 2005 when we heard news of hurricane Katrina. A missionary in our district was suppose to serve his mission in new orleans when the hurricane hit and his mother sent him a newspaper to tell him about the disaster. To me at that time it was one of the first times I'd ever thought of how much a disaster of that magnitude can truly affect so many people. 

pictures taken during the flooding in New Orleans

Once I left the MTC to serve my mission in northeast texas thousands of survivors began to migrate into texas for food and shelter. We had many opportunities to both provide religious council and relief to hundreds of survivors and it's something I will never forget. I remember going to a chapel where literally hundreds of people had set up living quarters on cotts and very little room. I continue to have this image in my mind anytime I feel like complaining about my room being too small or not having my own bathroom. These people who lost loved ones and all their belongings would never want to hear about it and I know I was raised better than that. I grew to love these people and continued to be impressed by how much faith in God many of them had. 

aftermath of hurricane katrina in New Orlean.

I recently came upon a phrase from a latin poem called Odes 1.11. The finale line of the poem states, "Seize the day (Carpe Diem in latin), trusting as little as possible in the future" I feel like this phrase is something I want to fully affect how I live my life. If there is anything we can truly take from world events and the terrible disasters that have occured in the last few years is that the future is uncertain. We will never know when the world will end. It is up to us to decide how we live our lives in the meantime. I urge us all to follow this council. Help those in need, love your friends, family, and even strangers, and live everyday with the attitude of making the most of every minute of your life.      As Robin Williams said in Dead Poets Society,  "Make your lives extraordinary." 

I can't bring the comfort that you need

Have you ever felt like despite all you do you can't fully give someone everything they need to be happy? Ever felt the sadness of having a friend going through a tough situation and there's nothing you can do about it? I've discovered this song that encapsulates all of these emotions to me. Whether you have experienced any of these things or feel the frustrations of loving someone this is for you.

Windsor drive-Chasing Shores

I want you to know that I'm trying
I want you to know that I want to open up
There's no guarantee of this I'm sure
I'm stuck at bay
I'm chasing shores
I can't bring you the comfort that you need
Do you know what that does to me?

Time is not my friend
It's burning me alive
Time is not my friend
It's burning me alive

It's not your fault, it's not mine
The cards we've been dealt have clashed with time
I don't know where to begin
You told me everything last night
I can't bring you the comfort that you need
Do you know what that does to me?

Time is not my friend
It's burning me alive 
Time is not my friend
It's burning me alive 

Several thoughts on life and new music

What a week it has been I'll start this post by saying that over the last few weeks I've definitely felt like my life has been setting up for a big transition. With friends getting married, moving away, and having babies it amazes me how fast time goes by. It seems like only yesterday I was teaching efy, serving my mission, and even starting college. Now i'm getting ready to choose the school to finish my degree and (hopefully) move out of my house. Looking forward I can't help but reflect on what I've done and how I can improve my life.

“Faith in something greater than ourselves enables us to do what we have said we'll do, to press forward when we are tired or hurt o

r afraid, to keep going when the challenge seems overwhelm

ing and the course is entirely uncertain.”-Gordon B. Hinkley

I've had some really great experiences at church the last few weeks and I can't help but notice a lesson I can take away from the lessons I've heard. I often find myself going head on into something when I make a goal or desire to change something in my life, but I often find myself falling back into old habits after going strong for a few months. I've often attributed this to my own lack of ability and place the failure on me for not being good enough. I've realized that I  don't need to fear anymore if I just take it day by day and put faith in myself and that god will help me if I just have 100 percent confidence in him and my abilities. Making gradual changes in my life to improve myself and having the confidence and love that I know I have and most importantly find the time to share it with those I love.

One of my favorite things to do when I'm contemplating so much is to write a new song and lately I've had a lot of great inspiration by some new music I've found in the last month.

1. mumford and sons- I really dig their sound..sometimes nothing is more powerful and personal to me than acoustic folk/bluegrass music. Accompanied by some of the strongest lyrics I've heard in along time this band has quickly become one of my favorites. Songs to look for are "little lion man" and "the cave."

2. band of horses- I know that alot of my friends have been big fans of them for quite awhile, but it took me over a year after buying their new cd for me to really give them a chance. I regret taking so long to finally listen to them. They blend alot of different genres of music together beautifully and have a sound that is totally their own. Many of their songs remind me of old classic rock but with an indie flair. I love their vocal harmonies. Songs to check out, "older" and "compliments".

3. cold war kids- My friend Ashley recommended them to me awhile back. Another example of a band I heard about but never got into til earlier this year. They have this really unique sound that blends indie, funk, and classic rock. lead singer Matt Maust has one of the most unique voices I've ever heard. My personal favorites right now are "royal blue" and "finally begin" from their new album.